Sunday, March 12, 2006

Evidence

In case any of you weren't convinced enough by my eloquent argument in favour of sidewalks, and not expecting much of people if they are told to act illogically, I now have photographic evidence. I set out on a quest today, picking up 2 volunteers, to look around the roads for problems with pedestrians. Luckily, we never have to look too hard for that.

My able bodied volunteers and I set out and captured these. I dont think the fact that I promised my volunteers chilled Red Bulls in Ettumanoor had anything to do with their dedication to the cause. If any of you are unconvinced about my arguments after this, please contact Meghant who'll "Buy you out", the same way Bill Gates buys out Homer Simpson.



where else is this guy supposed to walk?


the sidewalk suddenly turns into a ditch

blocks on a narrow ditch


the end result of chaos

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Vote?

uh, just realised that if I'm dictator, I don't need your stupid votes. So ignore the comment about voting for me in the previous posts.

But not to worry, my laws will still be logical.

What the hell are those funny white lines doing on the road?

Kerala is a really crowded place. Like so crowded that you can travel between two towns like a 150kms apart and still not figure out where one town ended and the other began. The entire length of the roadside will be full of houses. Land as you can see is a precious commodity. Kerala also has one of the highest per capita vehicle ownership in the country. And all these people need place to drive their new cars.

One day someone in power will be traveling down the road, and say "Hey, this road needs to be widened". Some paperwork will follow, some contracts given and the road will be widened until there is no space between it and the walls of the houses on either side. (Well, it might not be actually done like this, there might be planning committees and district-wise budget allocations, but it often looks like it might as well have been)

People now walk out of their houses right onto the road. Not even 1 meter will separate the houses from the roads. Now when someone gets out of their house and walks to the bus stand, he or she will have to walk on the road, cause there's just no other place to walk. (Ok, sometimes, there will be a few inches of thick undergrowth, which they could walk on). Anyway, Mr. A walks from his house to the bus stand and to the corner shop and anywhere else on the main road. Where else is he supposed to, anyway? The cars have to plan accordingly, and not stick to the curves near a turn cause there could be people walking.

One day, Mr. A, comes into town, or rather a larger town, like one of the towns at the end of the 150 kms from the other one. He gets down from the bus, and he sees a shop across the road and walks across the road for it. He sees some people further down the road, waiting on the side, with white stripes drawn across the road. A policeman stands next to the line with a whistle. He wonders what's so sacred about the line that they are waiting there, rather than just crossing.

When someone is used to walking on the road his whole life, simply because that is the only place to, you can't expect him to not cross it. Hey, if I can walk on this sides of this, and since there is no demarcation of the sides from the center, I may as well walk over it right? Mr. A feels he has the right to cross the road at any point, it’s his right, he owns the road as much as the cars do. He doesn’t care about blocking cars up ahead, traffic blocks, fuel wastage. You got as much chance that Mr. A will know to stick only to the sides and not cross at random, as giving a dog a bone and telling him to chew only the left side. What’s the difference, he asks.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that stupid country folk come to the towns and cause the chaos. Even in towns, there are hardly any sidewalks, and even where there is, they will be too narrow to accomodate more than 2 people walking. Further, electricity poles, telephone switches, on the sidewalk will just force the person to walk on the road anyway. And when you can walk on it whenever you want, you can cross it whenever.
Mr. A, was just lucky to come in just before school started to see those people waiting at the zebra cross. Who bothers about those normally?


The first step to safer and smoother traffic, is organizing the pedestrians. Atleast here its a lot better than the cows in Tamil Nadu. But city traffic jams and the slow movement of traffic here is caused only by the pedestrians. And you can't blame them. They have no other choice and they will not logically understand whats so special about some white lines and why they have to stop there.


Give people clear directions, in a simple logical way, that will make sense to them, and they don't mind following the law. Make the law illogical, and you might as well not make it.

Vote for me, and I'll make your laws logical.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Just an explanation...

Every day, I travel 45 kms, traveling to and from work in a rubber factory. On the way I cant help but notice the utter chaos on the roads. People crossing out of nowhere, those damn scooter guys cutting across, or just coming straight at you for no apparent reason. Worst of all are the bus guys. Its like you're a fresher in some college somewhere, and you don't address your seniors followed by a "Sir", they'll like whack you or something... anyway, I learnt to pay respects to the bus guys by taking my car to a corner of the road whenever I saw any. Driving my Maruti 800 at the time, I kept having a desire to get a Secret Squirrel matchbox kinda thing. If any of you have watched the cartoon "Secret Squirrel", you'd know his matchbox, which he just presses a button and it turns into a helicopter or a car or whatever was needed at the time. I didn't want a helicopter though... I wanted to press a button and transform my 800 into a Panzer or some cool sounding tank, and charge straight back at the busses.

Since then I've grown up a lot, moved from an 800 to an Indica, and started thinking more practically. Since my Singapore visit, a revelation occurred to me. If I became a dictator, I was sure that I'd be able to do a better job than whoever is supposed to be doing the job now. All I had to do was somehow or the other, find a way to be The Dictator. I'd be a benevolent dictator though, or benevolent but firm shall we say. I'd have to leave my rubber factory and see more of the world though. Study how everything is done elsewhere. And when I have adapted my knowledge and formed the perfect system for our country, I'll take it over. Things are starting to shape up, the first phase of my plan begins....